This past weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of volunteering for York Pride! It was heartwarming to see my hometown all dressed in rainbow, celebrating the many things that make the 2SLGBTQIA+ community so great. Music, conversation, and laughter filled the expo center as attendees mingled with drag queens, snacked on yummy food, and supported local queer-owned businesses. Like fashion-forward superheroes, people wore their most colorful face paint and draped Pride flags over their shoulders as capes. The air brimmed full with an atmosphere of unabashed, unrestrained, unconditional love. There wasn’t a single face in the building that wasn’t plastered with a smile.
Although I’ve been out of the closet for almost four years now, I’ve never attended a Pride event before this one! Truth be told, I never quite felt like I belonged at Pride, because I was never all that proud of my sexuality. While I wasn’t ashamed of my gayness, per se, I was certainly afraid of living life out loud.
Growing up in the conservative town of Dover, I often felt like one of the very few queer people stranded in an inhospitable land. From a young age, there existed in me an oppressive fear that if I acted “too gay,” there would be dire consequences. I was terrified of all forms of hatred, from serious acts of violence to small, snide remarks. I was also deeply afraid that others would perceive me as strange, obnoxious, or attention-seeking if I flaunted my sexuality too much. I figured it would be safer to lower the pitch of my voice, change the way that I dress, and tone down my bubbly personality. The less “me” that I was, the safer I would be.
It took years of living this way to realize just how stifling it truly was. At Dickinson College, I met many other queer people who were loud and proud about their identity. They dressed how they wanted, kissed their partners in public, and shared their pronouns like it was nothing whatsoever. Their nonchalance both shocked and inspired me. I decided to take a page out of their book and attempt to purge years of internalized judgment from my body. It’s still a work in progress, but I’ve made significant strides. Luckily, my path to self-acceptance led me to this year’s York Pride!
At Pride, it was incredibly reassuring to see so many other queer people taking the same journey alongside me. All my life, I thought York was a queer wasteland. I’m happy to say that I was completely misinformed! I made countless new friends, and I saw many familiar faces. I must say, my favorite face of the bunch belonged to my loving mom, who volunteered all day alongside me. I feel incredibly fortunate that we got to share our first Pride together. How lucky am I to have so much love in my life? How lucky are we all to belong to such a fantastic community? My heart is full of gratitude, admiration, and optimism for brighter days ahead.
Since we were manning the RRC Information Table, my mom and I didn’t have the privilege of watching Amethyst Diamond perform or listening to the beautiful voices of the Harrisburg Gay Men's Chorus. We did, however, have the opportunity to see the smiles on people’s faces as they received something as small as a temporary tattoo or a pronoun pin. The reactions to these tiny gifts confirmed to me that Pride isn’t about the elaborate merchandise, rainbow apparel, or show-stopping performances. It’s about the opportunity to connect with another human being in a space that encourages radical acceptance. It’s about seeing another person with their guard let down, and then returning that vulnerability without hesitation. It’s about love, in the truest sense of the word.
Thank you to all the vendors, collaborators, and sponsors who made the day possible! Without your tireless work and generous hearts, Pride wouldn’t happen. And, of course, thank you to all the attendees who made the day so memorable! It takes incredible courage to love yourself in the face of overwhelming hate and discrimination. Be proud of yourself, not just this month, but all year round, for making the brave choice to be uniquely you!
If you missed York Pride, don’t worry—Pride Month isn’t over by a long shot! Make sure to check out our event calendar to see more opportunities coming up this month and the rest of the summer! And if you can’t attend Pride for any reason whatsoever, don’t be down on yourself. Just because you can’t make it in person doesn’t mean you aren’t here with us in spirit!
